I Am An Asshole. So Are You.

I am a huge asshole. I react when my buttons are pushed. My ego takes over and I behave sometimes like I am entitled to things in life. I have a sharp, sharp tongue that can eviscerate someone I care about without a second thought. I can be single-minded, selfish, grumpy, insensitive and bossy. 

In other words, a huge dick.

I am a divine manifestation of love. I take care of those who need to be loved and seen. I will give my dinner to a hungry person without taking a bite. I study great spiritual people and do my best to emulate them. I love fiercely and have gratitude for the gifts and blessings that I receive. I truly believe in the greatness of the human spirit. 

In other words, a soulful love.

Life became so much easier for me when I realized that every single person in the world has both sides to them. We are all total assholes. We are also the most amazing source of love and joy.

Dark and light.

Both.

At the same time. 

Human beings are complicated. We are complex systems of biology, of psychology, of messy thoughts and unconscious patterns.

We forget who we are. All. The. Time.

Practices and touchstones that remind us who we are make a huge difference in life. For me, it’s yoga and meditation. When I am on my mat, I remember what matters.

My breath.

My heart.

My intention.

When I slow down, I remember that I don’t have to react to everything and everyone. I can step back and realize that we are all doing the best we can. Really.

Sometimes the best we can is not so great from a universal perspective. Sometimes our best is pretty lame. However, sometimes our best creates great love, growth and transformation. 

When I remember that we are both dark and light, yin and yang, big and small, it helps me have empathy and compassion for other people in the world.

I realize that even Jesus was human and had an ego that made him kind of a dick sometimes. Buddha wasn’t always jolly when he was sitting under the bodhi tree. Mother Theresa snapped at people who didn’t meet her expectations. The Dalai Lama gets low blood sugar when he doesn’t eat enough.

If you are real, if you are human, if you are putting yourself out there in life, you are going to have moments when you are kind of a jerk.

True spirituality, in my opinion, is having the awareness that you are capable of both great love and serious shitty-ness. Learning to spend more time on the love side of yourself is the practice.

Being honest and real when you are not acting, thinking or feeling like your loving divine self.

Asking for help.

Asking for forgiveness.

Being humble and correcting yourself when you hurt other people.

It is all about the practice. Over and over again, being aware of your heart, and returning to love.

Learning. Growing. Loving. 

The divine love and total asshole in me sees and recognizes the divine love and total asshole in you. May we be compassionate and kind to ourselves and each other as we walk this path.