How To Get Unstuck
We all get stuck. We all find ourselves doing things we really don’t want to be doing. We all find ourselves NOT doing the things that mean the most to us.
Why does this happen? What can we do about it?
Let me tell you a little story. I got stuck about my monthly newsletter. Ridiculously paralyzed. Those of you on my list know that you haven’t heard a whole lot from me in awhile. “Didn’t I sign up to hear something from her once upon a time?” you may have asked.
Yes, you signed up. Then I got scared.
I was scared I would lose you.
I was scared I wasn’t good enough to write you.
I was scared that I wasn’t relevant enough.
I was scared that you’d think I was [fill in the negative adjective].
So, I did nothing. Nada. Zilch. Head in the sand, maybe something will magically happen to make this newsletter happen, delusional nothing.
See, when we get stuck, it is most often because we are afraid of something. The trick is slowing down enough to acknowledge the fear and get curious about whether the fear is true or false.
As I started to loosen my grip on my own hesitation and get curious, I asked myself if my fears were justified.
Let me set the scene: Me, a cup of coffee, curled up in my big comfy chair with a cat tucked into my side, notebook in my hands and a very open heart. Here’s what I learned when I dove deep and got curious about my fear.
Yes, I may lose subscribers. It happens all the time to even the best writers and coaches. The more I put myself out there, the more likely people will start to see me and find things that are helpful or not helpful in what I produce. I also know that if I hide, I am no good to anyone. I don’t want to hide.
Good enough? I am good enough to write you. Otherwise you wouldn’t have bothered to sign up. Even if I am not good enough, just by putting myself out there, I am being true to my own soul. Being true to my soul feels like freedom. The more I do it, the happier I am.
Am I relevant? To some of you, yes. To others, maybe not. However, my relevance is not really relevant when I am doing nothing, right?
Do you think I am [silly, stupid, worthless, ugly, blah, blah, blah] Probably not. But if you do, that’s your business, not my business. I can’t control how you feel about me at all. I can only make myself vulnerable and see what happens.
Once I put all this down, it seemed like the only obvious choice was to write a blog and launch a newsletter. I want to be alive in my life. I want to be useful and soulful and deliberate.
Am I still scared? A little.
Am I out there making myself available to those who might need some of my open energy and love. Yes, definitely. That feels so good to me.
So, ask yourself, where are you stuck? What are you afraid of?
Chances are, your fears are smaller than you think they are. If you need help sorting through them, I’m here for you. It’s not easy, but it is so worth it.
As Mary Oliver so brilliantly penned, “tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Let’s show up. Let’s be vulnerable. Let’s unstick ourselves from our own fear and expectations.
Oh, and if you sign up for my newsletter below, I promise, I'll send you some emails. Even if I'm a little scared...